What to Expect
Our experience has demonstrated that the degree of stress and emotional impact the divorce has on each of the individuals involved is a strong indicator of the potential challenges and issues the court proceedings may need to address. This in turn can be exponentially increased if either party is not equipped to deal in a healthy and appropriate manner with the extremely difficult emotions that are present in every divorce. Each person involved in a divorce, regardless of gender or age, goes through the same general process. Yet there is a significant difference among individuals’ abilities to manage that process in a reasonable and respectful manner. We believe that we would be doing our clients a disservice if we did not incorporate a holistic approach to our representation.
Many clients have expressed the opinion that they endured the divorce process much more successfully when they sought out assistance from a mental health professional. Those clients who received counseling during the divorce process have been more comfortable in handling controversy within the divorce, more confident in making decisions, generally felt able to move on with their lives quicker, were more satisfied with their circumstances, and were better at managing the needs of their children through the divorce. We have also had clients who have chosen not to have a professional counselor educate and guide them through this very difficult time. Some believe that they hold some innate knowledge on how to deal with these extreme emotions themselves. Some use the lack of time or money and some because they don’t want to ‘appear crazy’ as a reason not to seek out such assistance. Some think it would be too embarrassing or shameful to see a therapist, because of what other people might think. Many people who don’t get some professional help with the emotional difficulties in divorce tend to make less rational decisions and prolong the process because of their struggles to cope with the stress.
No matter how you currently feel about your spouse, a divorce is a loss. That loss causes people to grieve. The grieving process happens in same way for all people -- although the intensity, degree and severity of the grief are very different from one person to the next. Typical stages that each of us go through when grieving loss are: denial, anger and resentment, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. All family members involved in a divorce will complete each stage of the grieving process at their own pace. Help in dealing with the grief process from a qualified therapist can assist you greatly. We do know that in order to move on with your life in a happy and healthy manner, each stage must be completed; and it is likely to take much longer to navigate each grief stage without therapy. Keep in mind that your spouse will also go through those same grief stages. Many times, one spouse becomes stuck in the anger and resentment stage, which then causes a variety of challenges during the course of the proceedings. It is important to find an attorney that is equipped to deal with those emotional quagmires and potential roadblocks, so that the divorce can still proceed in an expeditious way.
In addition to grief, there are also a number of other feelings and thoughts that can accompany a divorce. These may include shame, embarrassment, anxiety, fear of the future, fear of financial losses, and many others. Divorce is extremely stressful. Some studies list divorce as the second most stressful life event that anyone can experience, second only to the death of a child. Our experience has shown that, indeed, divorce can be very stressful. Personal coping skills and a good support system are critical to your emotional well-being throughout the divorce process.
We have worked closely with a number of very qualified psychologists and therapists. If you choose to utilize the assistance of a mental health professional, to help you navigate the maze of confusing and sometimes conflicting emotions, we can refer you to highly qualified professionals and help you find one that is right for you.
Depending on the facts of your case there may be others reasons to seek out professional counseling services, particularly during the course of custody and parenting time disputes. These circumstances need to be fully explored during a private and confidential office conference.
Many clients have expressed the opinion that they endured the divorce process much more successfully when they sought out assistance from a mental health professional. Those clients who received counseling during the divorce process have been more comfortable in handling controversy within the divorce, more confident in making decisions, generally felt able to move on with their lives quicker, were more satisfied with their circumstances, and were better at managing the needs of their children through the divorce. We have also had clients who have chosen not to have a professional counselor educate and guide them through this very difficult time. Some believe that they hold some innate knowledge on how to deal with these extreme emotions themselves. Some use the lack of time or money and some because they don’t want to ‘appear crazy’ as a reason not to seek out such assistance. Some think it would be too embarrassing or shameful to see a therapist, because of what other people might think. Many people who don’t get some professional help with the emotional difficulties in divorce tend to make less rational decisions and prolong the process because of their struggles to cope with the stress.
No matter how you currently feel about your spouse, a divorce is a loss. That loss causes people to grieve. The grieving process happens in same way for all people -- although the intensity, degree and severity of the grief are very different from one person to the next. Typical stages that each of us go through when grieving loss are: denial, anger and resentment, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. All family members involved in a divorce will complete each stage of the grieving process at their own pace. Help in dealing with the grief process from a qualified therapist can assist you greatly. We do know that in order to move on with your life in a happy and healthy manner, each stage must be completed; and it is likely to take much longer to navigate each grief stage without therapy. Keep in mind that your spouse will also go through those same grief stages. Many times, one spouse becomes stuck in the anger and resentment stage, which then causes a variety of challenges during the course of the proceedings. It is important to find an attorney that is equipped to deal with those emotional quagmires and potential roadblocks, so that the divorce can still proceed in an expeditious way.
In addition to grief, there are also a number of other feelings and thoughts that can accompany a divorce. These may include shame, embarrassment, anxiety, fear of the future, fear of financial losses, and many others. Divorce is extremely stressful. Some studies list divorce as the second most stressful life event that anyone can experience, second only to the death of a child. Our experience has shown that, indeed, divorce can be very stressful. Personal coping skills and a good support system are critical to your emotional well-being throughout the divorce process.
We have worked closely with a number of very qualified psychologists and therapists. If you choose to utilize the assistance of a mental health professional, to help you navigate the maze of confusing and sometimes conflicting emotions, we can refer you to highly qualified professionals and help you find one that is right for you.
Depending on the facts of your case there may be others reasons to seek out professional counseling services, particularly during the course of custody and parenting time disputes. These circumstances need to be fully explored during a private and confidential office conference.
